Kay has been a delight. Two plus months of dating has me at ease with her. That first date is now a faint memory as I left it sure I would never see her again. I’m so glad I was wrong. After a couple of weeks, we started texting each other and started seeing each other regularly.
Walks in the park, sharing ice cream on a warm day, a walk
through the “superbloom” that we had in Southern California this year, a little
train ride, and a walk by the ocean where she pointed out the birds diving into
the water, and most of all, a friend to share the experience with. Kay and I got along great together. She’s smart but doesn’t flaunt it. She laughs at my lame jokes and tells a few
of her own. She’s affectionate and holds
my hand and hugs me at will. I’m loving
all of this as this is why I had decided to break out of my domestic
prison. I was happier than I had been in
way too long a period.
Yet I felt uneasy. I
knew there was something she was hiding.
I suspected what it was and even tried to coax her to open up about
it. She wouldn’t. And just as quickly as this whole thing had
started, it ended abruptly without a word, let alone an explanation. After a few weeks, I texted her to prod an
explanation. I got one saying I was a “wonderful
man with a heart of gold”, but there were too many complications to continue
this. Again, she wouldn’t divulge the real
complication. She didn’t expect that I
would know what it was, but I did and do.
Kay, I wish I was more important to you so you wouldn’t have
so easily discarded me because you were afraid to ask me something. I would have answered honestly and we would
have either gotten closer or moved on. My
answer may have even surprised you as I don’t think you really understood who I
am. Now I can’t forgive you for that,
and I’ll have to try to accept the fact that this wasn’t meant to be. But I’m heartbroken.
I’m back where I was at the beginning of the year, albeit a
bit sadder yet grateful. I’ll always
remember those wonderful couple of months with Kay.
